“Hey Natalie, bring your camera over here. I wanna say something!”
That’s how the video started.
On command, Natalie (presumably part of Team Dolly who had social media duties that day) emerges from behind a TV studio camera and, with iPhone rolling, approaches the beckoning legend who’s perched on a chair and bathed in great lighting. She looks healthy. Big hair, full makeup, and a flaming red outfit adorned with flowing fringe. In other words, she looks like Dolly.
“Well, today’s October 8th and obviously, I’m here,” she said in the video titled “I ain’t dead yet!” Here obviously is a production set where, Dolly explains, she’s in the middle of working on a commercial for The Grand Ole Opry - you know, normal stuff non-dying famous people do - and she just wanted to take a quick break to send her fans an important message.
“I wanted to say… I know lately everyone’s thinkin’ I’m sicker than I am,” she said looking straight into Natalie’s iPhone. “Do I look sick to you? I’m working hard!”
No script. No teleprompter. Just Dolly.
“I want to put everyone’s mind at ease, those of you who seem to be real concerned… which I appreciate,” Dolly said. “And I appreciate your prayers cause I’m a person of faith. I can always use the prayer for anything and everything.”
And with that, Professor Parton began her latest lesson in The School of Dolly.
Students, you best take notes because this is your 5-step guide for facing a firestorm, reigning in a rumor, and reclaiming the narrative.
1: Acknowledge what’s happening
When people or organizations lose control of the narrative, the temptation is to plow forward as if nothing is wrong. “What crisis?” some leaders ask. With index fingers inserted in ears, eyes closed, and chants of “la la la la”, they act as if ignoring a problem makes it go away. Meanwhile, their unacknowledged troubles multiply.
You could argue that Dolly’s trouble is just a kidney stone. That’s why she said she had to cancel a public appearance and why, according to some reports, she cancelled her December shows in Las Vegas. But that was old news handled several days ago. People were sad, but they understood. When you’re 79-years-old, stuff happens.
But Dolly’s real trouble, at least of the PR variety, erupted after that when her little sister Frieda Parton made what sounded like an urgent public plea for prayer.
“Last night, I was up all night praying for my sister, Dolly,” she posted on Facebook. “Many of you know she hasn’t been feeling her best lately. I truly believe in the power of prayer, and I have been lead (sic) to ask all of the world that loves her to be prayer warriors and pray with me. She’s strong, she’s loved, and with all the prayers being lifted for her, I know in my heart she’s going to be just fine.”
Within hours, newsrooms around the world were on high alert, and fans were freaking out. “You know it’s dire when family starts asking for prayers,” one commented on Facebook. “I can’t even imagine what this world would be like without her in it,” another worried. “She is the last shining hope for humanity.”
My first thought: poor Frieda. Love her heart, as they say here in East Tennessee. Sister was only doing what all church-going Southerners do when your kin is ailing: they get on the church prayer chain calling everyone you know and telling them to call everyone they know so everybody can flood the gates of heaven with pleas for healing from the Almighty.
Frieda’s post didn’t seem all that dire to me. My social media feed already is full of people asking for prayer for themselves or their family or their dog or the United States of America. No big whoop.
But headline writers read it differently and, without saying it, hinted that things were worse than anyone was willing to publicly admit.
Team Dolly had a problem.
They could have ignored it. They could have rationalized that nothing really was on the line. She’s universally adored, her empire is thriving, and she’s got a few bucks tucked away in her savings account. But through the years of covering her as a journalist, I’ve come to believe that Dolly doesn’t think that way. To her, a lot is always on the line. She knows that her business, her employees, her hometown, and her public need and want her to be vibrant and happy and well, so that’s the image she maintains.
And that’s why, within 24 hours of Frieda-gate, Dolly was on Natalie’s iPhone executing her brand of a PR counteroffensive.
“I want you to know that I’m ok,” she said.
2: Demonstrate vulnerability
Then, Dolly does something naturally that doesn’t come naturally for many who try to lead. She lets down her guard, admits some hard stuff, and gets disarmingly real.
“I’ve got some problems as I mentioned,” referring to her pre-Frieda public statement. “Back when my husband Carl was sick - that was a long time - and then when he passed, I didn’t take care of myself. I let a lot of things go that I should have been taking care of.”
Yes, you heard her right. Even people who have everything come to the point when they don’t even have the strength to take care of themselves. That’s vulnerability. That’s admitting that, like so many women, she put the wellbeing of a loved one in front of her own. That’s acknowledging that, for her and everyone else, grief can be crippling. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but I detect an acknowledgement of grief-induced depression. If you’ve had it, you know - when you’re in the pit, self-care ain’t a priority.
Here, Dolly proves that, in presenting a strong image, it’s essential to admit weakness. She did, and any suspicion of a cover-up began to vanish. In its place, you have a brave and determined woman who, after a staggering blow, is taking the necessary steps to be well again. That’s all.
3: Reveal as much as you can
Next, Dolly does another thing critical to regaining the narrative. She gives people what they want. That’s information. She knows that they want to know, “What’s really wrong with Dolly?”
Without oversharing, she explains that she needs “a few treatments” so she’s got to stay “close to home” and to Vanderbilt Medical Center in Nashville where she will be getting care for what she calls “nothing major”.
That’s more than we knew. Now, there’s something to talk about other than Frieda’s plea for prayer.
At the moment when a few revelations could calm the crowds, the tendency among some who lead is to clam up and self-protect by holding onto information that could be shared without risk. Dolly knows that doesn’t work, so she tells it like it is, even daring to use the D-word. “I wanted you to know I’m not dying,” she said.
4: Avoid the blame game
Maybe Dolly privately wanted to wring her sister Frieda’s neck for stirring the pot. I bet her PR did. But Dolly doesn’t mention it, and that’s significant. She could have spent time pointing out what was said and who said it and why it was wrong. Instead, she focused on what she wanted people to know.
Her only acknowledgement of the misinformation-driven public panic was a humorous reference to a ridiculous AI image of a dying Dolly being comforted by a grieving Reba McEntire. “We both looked like we needed to be buried!” she laughed.
Leaders, beware of the temptation to distractedly dwell on who or what caused your communication crisis. It solves nothing. Instead, focus on what you want people to know and why you want them to know it.
5: Close by connecting
Finally, Dolly takes the essential final step needed to stamp out a rumor and reclaim the message: she makes a personal connection while repeating the things she wants everyone to remember.
“There are just a lot of rumors flying around, and I figured if you heard it from me, you’d know I was ok. So I ain’t ready to die yet, and I don’t think God is through with me and I ain’t done workin’. So, I love you for caring. And keep praying for me.”
Dolly could have said her health was her business, that Frieda needed to stay off social media, and that the news needed to quit spreading lies. Instead, she demonstrated gratitude. She emphasized appreciation for everyone who was scared. She “loves them for caring”, so she takes the time out to tell them the truth. She acknowledges that the concerns of the world have touched her, and she wants her prayer warriors to keep on praying.
That’s connection. That’s leadership. And that’s how you diffuse a PR crisis.
The Dolly Parton 5-Step Plan to Regain the Narrative:
Acknowledge what’s happening (ignoring feeds the fire)
Demonstrate vulnerability (strong people admit when and how they are weak)
Reveal as much as you can (if there’s truth to tell, tell it)
Avoid the blame game (pointing the finger distracts you from what matters - YOUR message)
Close by connecting (appreciate your people always and no matter what)
This lesson in The School of Dolly obviously had an immediate impact on at least one student. Her name is Frieda, and she’s been a student in The School of Dolly all her life.
The day after Dolly showed the world how to extinguish a PR firestorm, Frieda put her learning into action with a clarifying social media post.
“I want to clear something up. I didn’t mean to scare anyone or make it sound so serious when asking for prayers for Dolly. She’s been a little under the weather, and I simply asked for prayers because I believe so strongly in the power of prayer. It was nothing more than a little sister asking for prayers for her big sister. Thank you all for lifting her up. Your love truly makes a difference.
Here, Frieda acknowledges the problem, demonstrates vulnerability, reveals her real intentions, avoids redirecting responsibility, and closes by connecting with her audience.
It worked. Among the more than 1,300 comments, only few grumpy people chastised her. “She scared millions of people for no reason,” one person typed while still managing to wag a finger.
But the vast majority responded with understanding. “I feel like there are worse things than a passionate sister,” one person said. “I can’t imagine the layer it adds when your sister is a national treasure and a global icon.” Another commented, “The world will always…make their own stories up. Never let that stop you from asking us to pray with you even if it’s something little and simple.”
And with that, Frieda advanced to the head of the class here in The School of Dolly. I doubt she cares, though. She’s just concerned about her big sister, just like the rest of us.
Love this one Josh. We all could get a good lesson to remember out of this one. Once again go Dolly….💕to Dolly. Love to you Josh💕
Well Written Josh, I really enjoy reading your stuff, Miss ya!