By this point in The School of Dolly, it’s likely that you - the upperclassman who’s done the hard work - are starting to notice a difference. You can sense a subtle shift, and it feels good. Stuff that used to stump you now doesn’t. After applying practical lessons learned from the life of our esteemed professor, you now can point to specific wins. Best of all, dreams that long stayed static in your head now have a dynamic momentum.
If this is true for you, then you’re ready for the ultimate lesson in The School of Dolly, and there’s no time to waste.
That lesson - mastering the art of not taking yourself too seriously.
“Really?” you ask, “THAT’S the ultimate lesson? Everyone knows that taking oneself too seriously is a bad thing. So - just don’t do it. Easy as that.”
Unfortunately, it’s not that easy. In fact, it’s incredibly difficult. Never before has it been so normal to be so obsessed with self, image, and brand. Never before has it been so simple to construct an artificial image of your “reality” and share it with the world with the press of a button. No wonder we have a new global pandemic on our hands with those who are infected - many of them leaders with tremendous visibility - quietly or not so quietly taking themselves way too seriously for their own good. For anyone’s good, to be more precise.
After years of covering Dolly Parton for local news viewers, I’ve concluded that humility - the foundation of not taking yourself too seriously - is the key ingredient in her secret sauce. More than musical talent or business savvy, it’s the attribute that’s prepared her, propelled her, and preserved her on her path from a crowded cabin with no running water in the hills of East Tennessee to the pinnacle of global fame.
How did she avoid becoming one of the many who soared into orbit only to crash and burn, their wings too frail to fly so close to the sun? How can others who aspire to lead and succeed follow her example?
Based on an analysis of her own words and actions over the span of almost fifty years, here is The School of Dolly 4-Step Method:
Step 1 - Acknowledge that, no matter what anyone says, you never deserve all the credit.
When CBS Sunday Morning’s correspondent Anthony Mason asked Parton in an early 2024 interview about her legendary skills as a songwriter, Dolly’s response revealed her humor and her humility. “It has to be something divine out there because I’m too stupid to think of that,” the 78 year-old icon told him with a smile, referencing one of her many memorable lyrical lines. “Sometimes I’ll get a line and think, whoa… that’s pretty good for me. That has to be coming from somewhere because I ain’t that smart.”
Parton wanted to make it clear - her talents are gifts. Gifts, by nature, are given. The giver, she believes, is Someone other than her to whom the credit really belongs. It’s easy to say that. It’s another thing altogether to believe that it’s true and live like it’s true every day.
Step 2 - Never forget where you came from, and never stop sharing that part your story.
January 19, 1977 - Dolly’s 31st birthday. At this point, she’s a star, but she’s not yet a superstar. Dolly has been invited to sit in the most coveted seat in broadcast television - the guest chair across the desk from Johnny Carson, “The Tonight Show” host and Hollywood kingmaker who, if he liked you, could make you a household name.
The natural impulse for anyone in her position would be to act the part. Be the star you want to become. Avoid talking about anything that might cause anyone to question whether you belong. In other words - fake it.
What did Dolly do?
“We were just farm folks,” she told Carson just moments after the interview began, candidly sharing about her life back home in the hills of Tennessee. “Working in the fields like we used to, we bailed a lot of hay,” she said stroking her bright blonde wig. “So I saved a couple of bails to use for my hair.” Which leads us to…
Step 3: Embrace self-deprecating humor, especially when around others who don’t.
At this point, TV viewers across the country - some who’d never seen her interviewed before - began to realize that here was a person who wasn’t afraid to laugh at herself. Carson laughed, visibly taken aback by his guest’s vulnerability and uncommon lack of guarded pretense. Regular Tonight Show viewers would have known that self-deprecating humor was an uncommon quality among Carson’s A-list guests. Most were there to entertain and impress. Here, on this night, was someone who wanted to do those things too while signaling to Carson and everyone watching that she loved to laugh, especially at herself.
Step 4 - Go out of your way to thank the people who helped you succeed.
A telltale sign that someone doesn’t take themselves too seriously is their tendency toward gratitude. Throughout her interview that night and in the many other Tonight Show visits to come, Dolly frequently spoke with fondness for her family and gratitude for her country roots.
“Talking serious about growing up in the mountains,” she continued, “it is a good way of life, and it makes you appreciate things - especially if you have good parents like I did.”
Some who were watching that night may have thought, “That poor thing.” But during that career-changing late night TV interview, there was never a hint of “poor me” from Dolly. Instead, there was serenity and transparency and gratitude for the life she’d been given, even if rural poverty, manual labor, and complete obscurity were every other star’s worst nightmare. Context is important, so keep in mind that this was the 1970’s. For most Americans, their only media exposure to life in rural Appalachia was the corny slapstick TV sitcom “The Beverly Hillbillies” which only recently had gone off the air. Stereotypes about the rural poor were rampant and predominantly negative. And there, talking to one of the most influential personalities in America, was the proudest and most likable hillbilly ever to appear on national television.
Two years later, Dolly - now a superstar on the verge of launching a movie career - returned to The Tonight Show and brought her guitar to the set for a song she wrote to thank her host for all he’d done to help her career.
“I have come a long way from the hills of Tennessee.
And I’ve worked hard to make the folks back home real proud of me.
Now everybody knows my name no matter where I go.
But I never really made it ‘til the Johnny Carson show.”
Just inches away from his singing guest, Carson sat entranced, smiling but also clearly moved by what was happening.
“Now I had dreams of stardom since I was just a kid,
I had a million-dollar dream beneath this 13-dollar wig,
In my bellbottom jumpsuits with my rhinestones all aglow
I became an overnight success from the Johnny Carson show.”
Carson couldn’t hide his adoration. I believe it wasn’t just because she flattered him or because she played along with his humor. I think he appreciated the fact that, despite her growing fame and fortune, Dolly never once seemed to take herself or her success too seriously. For Carson who interviewed “important people” every day, that must have been so refreshing.
Watching those interviews, it’s abundantly clear that, even back then, success hadn’t changed her. The massive wig and rhinestone-covered costume? They were just the punchlines of Dolly’s own personal joke on the world - a poor girl’s joyful celebration of newfound prosperity. Underneath it all was wisdom forged in the fire of hardship, a dogged determination to stay simple amidst the chaos of stardom, and a childlike understanding that fame and money and special treatment are merely temporary treats. Family and love and kindness - those things are real, so that’s what she talked about every chance she got.
Finally, it’s important to acknowledge that Dolly makes the art of not taking yourself too seriously look easy. But really, it’s not. It’s actually really, really hard, and the reason is deeply rooted in the human experience. From birth, we begin to construct the illusion of a “self.” There’s “me” and there’s “you” and there’s “we” and there’s “them.” Stories - millions of them in a lifetime - form and dissolve about who we were and who we are and who we will be. The dualistic mind sorts everything into good and bad, happy and sad, rich and poor, important and inconsequential. And subtly, we begin to suspect that, despite what the grown-ups say, some people really are better than others. Some are prettier, faster and stronger. Some have more stuff, more power, and more influence. To some, we bow in reverence. Others barely get a second glance. We accept it as the way things are while secretly wishing we could be one of the revered. We find ourselves living in service to the dream of escaping obscurity and rising to prominence.
Soon, we’re taking ourselves way too seriously, and that’s usually when things get ugly. Our origin story get so edited that we forget how it all began. Disconnected from where we came from, we forget where we’re going. We who once were a force are now just a farce. The emperor has no clothes, and the poor fool doesn’t even know it. The powerful has become pitiful, and that is the end of the road.
Wherever you find yourself on the journey, it’s never too late for The School of Dolly 4-Step Method. The time is always right to look for ways to share the glory, to speak openly about difficult realities of your journey to success, to laugh at yourself, and to always, ALWAYS give thanks.
Dolly wouldn’t be Dolly if she hadn’t figured it out and then lived it out. Likewise, you won’t fully realize the joy of your own leadership success unless you figure it out and live it out too.
(Note to the reader: Thank you for your loyalty. Stay tuned for an upcoming Epilogue post and some additional information about The School of Dolly!)
Thank you for your insights and especially for expressing them so well. Each lesson is a treat to read and reread. You’re teaching me a lot! ❤️
Well written post as usual. Thank you very much and like you, I loved her interviews on the Tonight Show back then. She was so down to earth and genuine.